If you’ve read my interactive romantic comedy, Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda, you know dating “do-overs” are the name of the game. With that in mind, we’ve got a new series where authors share moments they’d go back and change if given the chance. To start, we’re thrilled to have Hilary Grossman, author of Dangled Carat – a memoir about (finally) turning Mr. Commitmentphobe into Mr. Right.
If I could go back in time and change it, I would… But unfortunately I can’t. It was way too long ago. Thirty-six years ago to be exact.
He hurt me. He made me sad. And I let him ruin my day…. A day that I would never get to experience again.
As soon as she laid eyes on me, my mom knew something was wrong. She saw it on my face. Even though I was always stubborn, and kept my feelings bottled up, my face always let me down, revealing what was truly in my heart.
Knowing that she wouldn’t get a straight answer from me, nervously, my mom went over to the teacher to ask how I did. Not pulling any punches, the kindergarden teacher who had a terrible reputation in the town, told my mom how I didn’t talk to anyone the entire time, how I wouldn’t play with any of the other children, and when she tried to comfort me I fled. She questioned my mom if I had anything against her.
The entire summer my mom worried. What made me so upset, she wondered. Would the teacher have an “in” for me when school started in September based upon my reaction during orientation?
Finally after being questioned for the thousandth time I admitted what happened. My friend Danny from down the block and I arrived at school together. As we walked in I wanted to hold his hand. He didn’t let me….. I was so upset. And that is why my kindergarden orientation was ruined!
My mom listened as I cried. She dried my tears with her fingers. And then she told me, “Boys and men will disappoint you and maybe even hurt you. But they may not even understand or realize. We look at things differently, I’m sure that Danny never meant to make you so upset. But if you are upset you have to express it. You can’t keep it bottled up. Otherwise all you do is make yourself unhappy. ”
Little did I know how appropriate this advice would be so many years later when I dated the ultimate commitment phobic man.
Hilary Grossman
What’s your Dating Do-over? Let us know in the comments below! And don’t forget to pick up your copy of Coulda, Woulda, Should so you can make all those mistakes with none of the real life consequences.
Comments 1
thanks so much for “inviting me over!”